At age five, 1954, "the Bishop" (Chicago's Cardinal Stritch) stood over me and said, I had to "stop babbling" about what the priest did to me. It took me 40 years to talk about it again. Today, I babble.

Moving to City of Angels 8

In 2010, City of Angels will move to its next step: "Action" at City of Angels 8 We are on hiatus until January 15th.

Shop City of Angels

The City of Angels is Everywhere...
Also by Kay Ebeling: Read Sunset Boulevard, work in progress at City of Angels 2
This site is copyrighted by my statement. Kay Ebeling

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Be a stringer for City of Angels. I really do not know what I am doing...


I'm not a journalist. I'm a crime victim whose PTSD is so imbued into me after 55 years of living with it, that I adopt persona with ease. So when I saw that no journalists locally are writing about the coverup of sex crimes in the Catholic Church, and the shenanigans church attorneys carry on in court, I started City of Angels 3, hoping media would pick up the story and I could go back to watching movies on the couch.

Instead the persona took over. Now I am writing these stories, apparently the only digging journalist going after these crimes. If there are others out there, let's not compete, contact me so we can combine forces. I never wanted to be The One doing it, I just saw something that needed to be done and started doing it.

Amazing to me is why more people - victims or not - don't pick up torches and start hollering. There's maybe 10 of us across the country.

Meantime since I'm on my own through most of the production of these stories and sometimes people who do join up with me lead me wrong, there will be mistakes made here. This is not the New York Times, this is one lone crime victim crying out for somebody to see all this abuse of the justice system by the Catholic Church, even if you can't stand hearing all the stories of children raped across the country - across the world, likely, in the future.

Meanwhile, I wish people would sign up as stringers for City of Angels, write stories from their region, you don't have to be any more a journalist than I am. My J school degree is from 1978, and I worked five years- maybe 8 years total as a journalist, last real job was in the 1980s. Adopting the persona the whole time then too.

Don't look to me for All The News in encyclopedic accuracy - look for My Personal Slant on all these crimes, including the pain, my damaged life, the ongoing onslaught of reminders that I cannot live like a normal person because of this shit.

I can print SHIT here!!!

For now today gotta go to work on an E! network special, as this is not my profession. This blog is my outlet. This blog is my way to make up for the dearth of support for survivors in L.A. after SNAP was here for 10 years and then left. Actually SNAP never was in L.A. it was always out in the suburbs, but that's another story.

This blog was started and goes on, not to pad my resume,

Not to showcase my work for potential employers,


Not to air the stories of people who I really don't agree with.

No more stories about people who want to talk, but won't let me phone them and get to know them first.

All that will be gone from now on at City of Angels. It's just going to be my take on things,

Lots of mistakes you make, you learn and don't make them again. I hate to admit that at age sixty I am still making so many mistakes, but when you consider I have only been myself since about 1994, when I realized where all the sexual compulsions had come from -

It was not St. Michael the Archangel who aroused me in the woods of Bartlett, Illinois in 1953, it was Father Thomas Barry Horne-y -

I'm really only sixteen and figuring this out with no parental or extended family around for guidance.

A support network would help.

Why don't we have a SNAP meeting in Hollywood? Anyone interested? I tried this once before. I don't want to be an organizer, I'm busy enough already. But does anyone else in L.A. feel a real need to continue some kind of action and support, and combining efforts as a group?



crispina said...

It's just going to be my take on things Sounds good! ;-)
You decide!

Michael said...

Don't really know what you are doing? Really? You had me fooled! I think you are doing exceptional work. Please, and I am begging here, don't go silent!

I share your frustration. My blog sometimes feels like I am spitting into the wind. I too wonder why groups like SNAP and FACSA don't harness the energy of bloggers to band the universe of survivors together. Instead we are individual points of light and some of those points have gone dark.

I am frustrated by SNAP at times, they operate in the northern part of Virginia, but their organization does not really extend down to my area.

I have you linked to my blog. Maybe we can sing a little harmony in our mutual frustration. We could meet in the middle. By my calculations that would be somewhere in Kansas.

crispina said...

Kay, I've read your 2 stories about that nun.

Maybe you know Tom Doyles article Clericalism, Religious Duress and its Psychological Impact on Victims of Clergy Sexual Abuse?

Could it be worthwhile taking some more breath, thinking it over (again)?

Take good care of yourself! ;-)