Non publicized post...

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By no means am I saying the core of religion is untrue ... mm.

I had this URGE to get on the computer this morning to write this and instead everything froze, had to reboot down to the internet modem. Now am composing inside the blog, which I hardly ever do, then turned on KJLH radio here in L.A. to hear black soulful Gospel music and things ironed out.

See I think we all know there's some kind of spiritual connection in the world, between humans, something we all have inside us. It seems to be repeated in other living things. We see patterns everywhere in the universe, there is definitely something going on.

Sperm hurricanes and galaxies are all shaped the same.

And Prayer

Prayer does something.

But as soon as humans try to put words and earthly applications and meanings on these things, they lose their meaning.

When pastors put structures around God they invariably turn into charlatans. And the Catholic Church has been putting structures around God for almost two thousand years, adjusting the body for political needs of the times.

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We all know there's something up there, but all you have to do is pray, you don't need the priests and altars, in fact, isn't that what Jesus preached on the Mount? Just turn your head to the heavens and say, "Our Father who art in Heaven ..."

This century, me, I'm daydreaming about life on other planets, and as I age, I know some of these mysteries will soon be answered... meanwhile yeah, KJLH 102.3 FM Los Angeles on Sundays.

And I still read proverbs and psalms. If I ever have more children in my life, I'm going to teach them Proverbs and Psalms . . .

adios, feliz navidad para hoy

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Because I'm listening right now to KJLH, I've heard now these two phrases repeated in songs:

I need you, you need me, we're all a part of God's family.

You're the God of a second chance.

We fall down, but we get up.

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According to Pew's research released today Sunday December 20, 2009:

There are more lapsed Catholics in America than there are affiliated Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Orthodox Christians, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses and Presbyterians combined.

So don't be scared...

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I have written here several times, I'm not writing this totally on my own, there is definite spiritual ... nudging that goes on. Like the last public post, yet another rant about the Illinois Supreme Court ruling and how people whose cases are from more than 40 years ago are SOL by the SOL.

That story was ready to post for three days, but there was like a magnetic field, a steel emanating force, keeping me from posting the story. I just knew, I'll post it the 15th. From the 11th, I knew I'd post it on the 15th.

I posted it, then looked at Abuse Tracker, and there was a story about a case in Illinois that settled for $1.4 million, able to pay out because the case was less than 40 years old and Jeff Anderson is even quoted saying, thanks to the Illinois state court decision, this case was able to be "dismissed."

Anderson was quoted in the story calling the case "dismissed" when it was actually settled.

Hope the reporter got it wrong.

BUT Point is, the timing, like Someone Else knew it would be better timing to wait until the 15th to post it. On the 15th I woke up and the magnetic field was totally gone, I sat up pert and energetic and posted the story...

Knowing, now that it's happened so many times writing this blog for three years, that I'm not totally writing this on my own.

When I tell my story, I always say, that God saw me getting sexualized by a priest when I was five years old, and He knew I was going to have trouble as a result. I've had these angels with me since that time. It's how I lived through all the chaos, several attempted murders on Me, I lived through. Pretended to be dead when the nine Indians raped me up in Mount Shasta until they left. Lived through it all...

(I am writing the life story Perils of a Pedophile Priest Survivor's Life at City of Angels 2)

Preview: Molestation MO passed from generation to generation in seminary

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Story in Construction:
Rememeber this story? Father Robert Van Handel perpetrated "medical exams" of teenage boys at St. Anthony's Seminary in Santa Barbara in the 1970s. Young seminary student Robert Van Handel was on the receiving end of a very similar exam in about 1962. Molestatio MO's passed from one generation of priests to another at the Santa Barbara boys high school, that blessedly closed June 1987... Here is story of Van Handel's crime:

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

The Franciscan grabbed the freshman by the testicles and instructed the boy to cough as if it were a hernia exam. Just another day of Seminary Life.
.Franciscan friars with no medical training tested boys for "undescended testacles" at St. Anthony's high school seminary in the 1960s and '70s, as revealed in a new lawsuit filed in Santa Barbara last month and reported here in Part 4 of the Santa Barbara Story November 2009 here at City of Angels. Soon after the testicle exam, an assault by a group of unruly Franciscan friars fills out the plaintiff's first year of high school, apparently just another part of life at the seminary. The legal documents in pedophile priest rape episodes again speak for themselves. Here are more direct quotes from: First Amended Complaint for Damages and Relief, Case Number 1338070 filed in Santa Barbara Superior Court November 3, 2009. Assault During a Physical Exam in the School Infirmary, from First Amended Complaint Case #1338070: "Although initially thrilled to be so far away from his abusive home, the situation for Plaintiff at St. Anthony’s degenerated quickly. Specifically, within a month or two of school starting Plaintiff was called to the infirmary. Upon arriving Plaintiff observed notorious perpetrator Father Robert Van Handel sitting near an infirmary bed, along with another Franciscan he did not recognize. Van Handel then informed Plaintiff he was there 'for a check-up.'"Unbeknownst to Plaintiff, this was a fraudulent misrepresentation as the Franciscans have never had any agents qualified to conduct medical exams, much less any such agents assigned to St. Anthony’s [seminary in Santa Barbara]. To the contrary, when a serious medical problem arose with a student, the Franciscans either called Paul Munch MD, or took the ill student to the hospital....

Shared by a friend

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WILD GEESE
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination

Let donations fall off organically. These bishops need prosecution

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Here is a sample from a post I just put up at City of Angels 2 :

Okay there’s this buzz in the “survivor community” to stop giving money to the Catholic Church because of its pedophile priests. I assume this means you would still go to the Church every Sunday and stay for their after service Donuts and Coffee. You will be putting your body heat in their air conditioned building, drinking their wine, eating their Eucharist wafers.

It’s deceiving to go to a Church and not give it money. It's false, misleading. It’s like … how do I explain this.

A few years back, after going on antidepressants, mandatory as we were in a homeless shelter, I remember the way the drug made me feel. It did indeed control my mood. It was like a steel grip, a vice, was at the top of my brain and then steel-like tentacles reached out from the vice and just held my brain in this grip.

I bring all this up now because as I observe people stuck in that religion so bad that they don't want to give it another dime, but they'll still file in its doors at least once a week, I think of that vice like grip the antidepressant drug had on me.

A Steel Vice-Like Grip

It looks a lot like a zip file, when you download several documents at once into your Word folders, then go to open them, the icon will look like this vice like grip, with steel-looking tentacles wrapped around and protecting the openings to what's inside the documents.

The steel grip of Catholicism is like a zip file in their brains. Turn the icon in your computer sideways, put it on top of your head, that's what it feels like to be on anti-deperessants when you really don't need them, and it’s much the same as the grip the Church has on people who think the best way to protest against child sex abuse in the church is to stop donating to the church.

You're still walking in the church doors, you're still giving them power in numbers by your presence, you're still listening to their mind altering even hypnotizing, often untrue, sermons they preach, and then there’s that mesmerizing group prayer they do, everyone repeating the same words in a droning monotone.

Yeah, maybe Ray and Jim and Bill and Dave are all correct.

It is brainwashing, only it's a year 1300 state of the art form of brainwashing.

IT'S Dishonest to Go to a Church and then not put money in its baskets.

You're eating their Eucharist, breathing their air conditioned air

AND

Asking the bishops to resign, or asking the pope to fire the bishops, doesn't really accomplish much either.

Those out of work bishops will not stand in any welfare office lines, they will still never drive east of La Cienega or the equivalent in whatever city they're in. Worse yet, some Catholic person with a lot of money who doesn't like the poor will instead provide for the out of work bishop with a home, a stipend, a couple of servants, a car. On a beach probably in some perfect climate.

The bishops belong in prison.

The church needs to feel the full brunt of people not coming in its doors anymore. It’s an organization so full of dishonesty and filth going back probably more than a thousand years, if that's where you think you're going to find God, my hat is off to you, my friend. Good luck.

FEEDBACK:

Email to me just now said hurting them in the pocketbooks is the only thing they feel.

True, but I say, if you stop donating, it's the local church that suffers.

Why not just find a church where you trust the pastors.

But the emailer did make a good point: He could eat a few of their donuts, and it's like getting money back after his family had donated to the local archdiocese for all those decades, like getting money back from Bernie Madoff ...

I think I'm lucky I stopped going to Catholic Church at age 13.

DELETED PARAGRAPHS:

I got on the pills because Lizzie and I were living at Hope Again’s shelter for homeless women at the time. Nowadays, if you are in a shelter like that, they insist you go get on medication, I mean, I didn't need medication. I was depressed because we’d been living in our car for six months, and well, my dad was murdered in 1997 and the woman also embezzled his money, so I lost my inheritance to a murderer and was living on the street 6 years later. Yeah I was a little depressed.

My Catholic friends tell me that withholding donations is the best activism about pedophile priests you will get from Catholics, they'll never leave their churches. Some call it brainwashing, I don't think that's the right word for it.

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Can't seem to do a hiatus this year...

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Just arrived by email this minute:

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.

There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."

The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side."

MORE FROM EMAIL TODAY:

From Irish Central:

Bishops battling each other in Irish Catholic Church abuse scandal

The Wolfhound: Let's avoid 'Mass' lunacy on Christmas

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Oops, meant to say:

"The bishops who let children be raped belong in prison."